Lately, as in within the last few weeks; God has been really tugging at my heart. It have spent many sleepless nights because I feel the Lord trying to get a hold of me. He has place certain things on my heart to pray for, or certain people. Two Sundays ago from today, I was in church. We were worshiping and I began praying; but was unable to talk. So usually when I can't figure out how to communicate with God, I use my prayer language. As I was speaking in tongues, emotions began to well up. The music was getting softer, and I felt like God wanted me to say something to the Congregation.
I had never felt like this before, or done anything like this; so to not be disruptive I left the service and went into the Ladies restroom. While I was in there; I started weeping and speaking in tongues. The words came out very forceful; so forceful that I held my stomach.
I still wonder what someone would have done if they came into the bathroom and heard speaking in tongues coming from the stall? haha Anyway. After the service I told my dad that something was right with me. He gave me a funny look, but then I explained. He had me meet with Pastor Ted and talk to him about what happened. I told him everything and asked if it would be okay to share what God had put on my heart for the church. He agreed; but told me that God would try to use me again. Also, that I needed to respond, or else God could give the gift to someone else.
Not wanting to let that happen; I chose to respond. The next Sunday after that my family and I were in Montana. So nothing happened. But today we went to church. And I knew that it was going to happen sometime during service because I was unable to sleep all last night. There was such a heaviness of the Holy Spirit on me.
All morning my stomach had been sour. Probably because of nerves. Sue had made it in town for Pastor Charm's birthday, so that was great to see her! We talked for a little bit, then she got back to helping her dad.
Worship began and I started to sing. But I was unable to sing or speak in tongues well. It was like, nothing could come out until the right time. This was so foreign to me? I just wanted to be used by God and Him to take control!
At the right time, when Kevin had just finished saying something and worship was quiet; I was able to speak in tongues. The Lord took control and began speaking through me. Hoping that someone had the interpretation or that God would give me the words; as soon as it stopped, a lady from the other side of the church spoke. God used her to interpret.
I was overcome, once again with emotion and weeping. That was so cool, to know that God came through. He is faithful and spoke through someone else. It was a blessing.
No one can break my heart like God. This is in a good way. He ultimately breaks me...and brings me to a place where I am humbled. All I can say is thank you God. You are faithful. May we be obedient in the church when God wants to use us for His purpose!
.....TIgerLily*
If you have had anytype of experience like that, or have any advice/wisdom to pass on; please share! I'd love to hear it~! :D
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